Hating Who I Am

[Paris Musuko]

Paris Musuko

In the glitter, in the dark, sunk into velvet, praying this will never end. In the shadow of a star, in static pallor, I realized I never began. Just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end, just like a memory, it twists me. Just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end... Twist... twisting me

. . . I don't know what to do
. . . when you walk away.

We're best of friends, perfect mates ஜ I can remember a place I used to go
It's hard to imagine a life without you as a friend... ஜ Chrysanthemums of white, they seemed so beautiful
It's been a good time ஜ I'd shut my eyes to see
Well, we enjoy eachother's company; that counts ஜ Oh, how I smiled then, so near the cherished ones
We remember one another's names, at least? ஜ I knew they would appear; saw not a single one
we are aware of each other's existances ஜ Oh, how I smiled then, waiting so patiently
We share a friend, you & I ஜ I'd make a wish... and bleed
It's a bit complicated between us ஜ While I waited I was wasting away
It's just an innocent crush ஜ Hope was wasting away
Bet you'd look good naked ஜ Faith was wasting away
It's a only sweet flirt ஜ I was wasting away
Man, I wanna throw you down ஜ I never, never wanted this
It's happened, but won't again ஜ I always wanted to believe
You're in my future, I promise ஜ I never, never wanted this
We'll see, with a glance or two ஜ How could I have become?
Perfect love, the unending kind ஜ I never, never wanted this
(I think it's more important that I say this) ஜ But from the start I'd been deceived

. . . Darling, I want to destroy you
. . . If only to feel better.

It's not as if we ever cared enough to change for love ஜ Raise high monolithic statues so fragile as they fall
Fuck you, fuck me, we'll get it on with a knife ஜ I am ever enthralled; I'd shut my eyes to see
Just trying to best one another ஜ Gaze, lie and smirk in time,
Wish we didn't know all the secrets ஜ your arrogance will suit you well
It just wasn't meant to be ஜ 'Til fashion is dispelled
It hurts more to look at you every time I do ஜ As waves of plastic fame go out of fashion
Won't you ever just shut the fuck up, please? ஜ You're going out, going out forever unknown
Betrayal just doesn't go away overnight, Honey ஜ These waves of plastic fame go out of fashion
Blackmail is so harsh; Aggressive negotiations is better ஜ These waves of plastic fame are drying up and I smile
I didn't like you the moment I first saw you ஜ You're going out, going out forever unknown
Don't kiss & tell; you'll regret it when you fall down ஜ Cause you're dying to become forever unknown, unkown
I wish we weren't so far away... ஜ From above a rain of ashes descends
It's been a learning experience, Darling ஜ Anathema I will remain, forever will remain
It's just plain hatred... ஜ From below, in my seclusion
Won't you please just pretend you don't pity me? ஜ Look up to the sky to see paper wings & watch them burn
I am finished watching you cry like that ஜ Without habitation, you'll never find a soul inside
(Something Else ) ஜ No life, but nothing's died

[Paris Musuko]

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